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Encouragement

Why Your Inner Critic is a Jerk: Silencing Negative Self-Talk for Aspiring Actors

Acting, Encouragement, Wisdom

As an aspiring actor, you’re no stranger to the highs and lows of the industry. From the exhilarating thrill of auditions to the gut-wrenching fear of rejection, your emotional landscape is often a rollercoaster ride. However, amidst this whirlwind of experiences, there’s an often-overlooked adversary lurking within; your inner critic! Ever feel like your inner critic is auditioning for the role of your life? Here’s how to change the script and become your own biggest fan instead!

Understanding the Inner Critic

The inner critic is that nagging voice in your head that feeds you negative self-talk, undermining your confidence and creativity. For actors, this voice might manifest as thoughts like, “You’ll never get the part” (This differs from “You’re not going to get the part anyway – which frees you from worrying about booking a particular role), “You’re not talented enough,” or “Everyone is better than you.” It’s essential to recognize that this voice, while common, is not a true reflection of your abilities or potential. That voice is a jerk and a liar!

Common Negative Self-Talk for Aspiring Actors

  1. Comparison to Others: “Look at how talented they are. I’ll never measure up.”
  2. Fear of Judgment: “What if they think I’m a fraud?”
  3. Perfectionism: “I need to be perfect; anything less is unacceptable.”
  4. Doubt in Choices: “Was that the wrong monologue? Did I mess up the audition?”
  5. Over-generalization: “I didn’t get that role; I’ll never get any roles.”

These thoughts can be debilitating, leading to anxiety, self-doubt, and even burnout. The good news is that you can take steps to silence your inner critic and cultivate a more supportive internal dialogue.

Strategies to Silence Your Inner Critic

  1. Acknowledge and Identify Your Inner Critic

The first step in silencing your inner critic is to acknowledge its presence. Pay attention to your thoughts during auditions, rehearsals, or even casual performances. Once you identify what your inner critic is saying, you can begin to challenge its validity. Ask yourself: “Is this thought based on fact or emotion?”

For instance, if you think, “I’ll never get this role,” counter it with evidence of your past successes and affirmations of your talent.

  1. Practice Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is crucial in overcoming negative self-talk. Instead of beating yourself up over perceived failures, treat yourself with the kindness and understanding you would extend to a friend.

Exercise: Write a letter to yourself as if you were writing to a fellow actor who is experiencing self-doubt. What would you say to encourage and uplift them? This exercise can help shift your perspective and encourage a more compassionate internal dialogue.

  1. Re-frame Negative Thoughts

Re-framing is the art of changing the narrative. Instead of saying, “I’m not good enough for this role,” try rephrasing it to, “I’m still learning and growing as an actor, and each audition is a chance to improve.”

Example: If you bombed an audition, instead of thinking, “I failed,” you could say, “That was an opportunity to learn, and I’ll do better next time.”

This shift in mindset can help you view challenges as opportunities rather than insurmountable obstacles.

  1. Create a Positive Affirmation Practice

Affirmations are powerful tools for reshaping your internal dialogue. Create a list of positive affirmations that resonate with you, such as:

– “I am a talented and unique performer.”

– “I embrace my individuality and authenticity.”

– “Every audition is an opportunity to grow.”

Recite these affirmations daily, especially before auditions or rehearsals. This practice can help build your confidence and counteract negative self-talk.

  1. Limit Comparisons

In an industry driven by competition, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparison. However, comparing yourself to others can fuel your inner critic. Instead, focus on your journey and set personal goals that reflect your aspirations.

Tip: Follow actors whose journeys inspire you rather than induce envy. Observe what you admire about them and apply those qualities to your own growth without diminishing your unique path.

  1. Surround Yourself with Supportive People

Your environment plays a significant role in how you view yourself. Surround yourself with supportive friends, mentors, and fellow actors who uplift and encourage you. Share your struggles and victories with them; their positive reinforcement can help drown out your inner critic. Note that these people are generally not the members of your family asking you why you don’t get a “real job”.

Activity: Join acting classes or workshops where you can connect with like-minded individuals. Engaging in a supportive community can foster a sense of belonging and bolster your confidence.

  1. Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness practices, such as meditation, can help you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings. By observing your inner critic without judgment, you can create a space between you and those negative thoughts. This separation allows you to recognize that the inner critic does not define you.

Exercise: Dedicate a few minutes each day to meditation or mindfulness. Focus on your breath and observe your thoughts as they come and go. When negative self-talk arises, acknowledge it without engaging, and gently redirect your focus back to your breath. Over time, this practice can help reduce the power of your inner critic.

  1. Set Realistic Goals

Setting achievable goals can provide clarity and direction, making it easier to manage expectations. Instead of aiming for a big break, focus on smaller, incremental goals, such as attending a certain number of auditions per month or taking a specific acting class. These goals should be specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART).

Example: Rather than saying, “I want to be a star,” reframe it to, “I will audition for at least three roles this month and take a weekly acting class.” Celebrating small victories can help combat feelings of inadequacy.

  1. Embrace Failure as Part of the Process

In the acting world, rejection is part of the journey. Instead of allowing your inner critic to use rejection as evidence of your inadequacy, reframe failure as an opportunity for growth.

Example: If you didn’t get cast in a role, view it as a chance to reflect on what you can learn. Perhaps you can seek feedback from the casting director, your acting coach, or other actors. Use their critique to evaluate your performance for areas of improvement. Embracing failure as a natural part of the process helps to dilute its power over your self-worth.

  1. Visualize Success

Visualization is a powerful technique used by many successful actors. Take time to visualize yourself succeeding in auditions and performances. Picture yourself delivering a compelling monologue, receiving applause, or being cast in a role you desire.

Exercise: Spend a few minutes each day visualizing your success. Engage all your senses in the process—hear the applause, feel the excitement, and see yourself confidently navigating the acting world. This practice can help create a positive mindset and reduce the hold of your inner critic.

  1. Document Your Progress

Maintaining a journal can be an effective way to track your growth and achievements. Write about your experiences, the auditions you’ve attended, and the skills you’ve developed. Reflect on the moments that made you proud and the progress you’ve made over time. At minimum you should be keeping track of auditions, what the role breakdown was (help to determine your “type”), which CD you received it from (multiple audition requests from the same CD says they liked your auditions), and whether or not you booked the role.

Tip: Set aside time each week to review your entries. This will allow you to see how far you’ve come and remind you that your journey is unique and worthwhile.

Be Your Own Biggest Fan

Your inner critic is a jerk, but it doesn’t have to be the loudest voice in your head. By recognizing its presence and employing strategies to counteract its negative influence, you can cultivate a more supportive and encouraging internal dialogue.

Remember, every actor battles with self-doubt, but those who overcome it are the ones who learn to silence their inner critics. Embrace self-compassion, set realistic goals, surround yourself with positivity, and treat failures as stepping stones rather than stumbling blocks.

With practice and dedication, you can transform your inner critic from an adversary into a supportive voice, cheering you on as you pursue your passion for acting. After all, the most important role you’ll ever play is the one in which you believe in yourself. So, change the script and become your own biggest fan—because you deserve it!

I’d love to hear from you

Hopefully you’ve enjoyed this post. I’d love to hear from you about what resonated, your personal shift from voice to screen, or even how your journey is treating you. Feel free to comment below, or head over to my Instagram or Facebook and leave a comment or send me a DM.

 

Filed Under: Acting, Encouragement, Wisdom

The Hilarious Side of Audition Fails: How Missteps Lead to Magnificent Growth

Acting, Encouragement, Wisdom

Auditioning for a role can feel like standing on the edge of a cliff staring into the abyss. Especially for aspiring actors, this experience can be fraught with tension, anxiety, and the looming specter of failure. Yet, behind every colossal audition flop lies an opportunity for growth, personal development, and—most importantly—a whole lot of laughter. Today, let’s explore the humorous side of acting auditions. I’ll share some funny anecdotes from famous actors about their most embarrassing moments and reflect on how these experiences can lead to unexpected success.

The Audition: A Rite of Passage

Auditions are an integral part of every actor’s journey and they are often filled with hope and anxiety. This process can manifest as anything from a polished performance to the most cringe-worthy moments imaginable. While most people may see auditioning as a gateway to stardom, seasoned actors often know that the path is paved with missteps. It’s a rite of passage, and an essential one at that.

Consider the story of Jennifer Lawrence, who once auditioned for the role of Bella in “Twilight.” Lawrence, known for her unfiltered humor, recounted how she walked into the audition and attempted to channel a “vampire” vibe. Instead of embodying the brooding essence of a vampire, she ended up impersonating a “baby bird” that had fallen from its nest. “I was flapping my arms and chirping,” she recalls, “and the casting director looked at me like I had three heads.” Although she didn’t land the role, her infectious energy and willingness to be silly have made her one of Hollywood’s most beloved stars. Such moments of sheer absurdity often serve as the foundation for resilience and creativity.

The Power of Failure: Learning to Laugh

Failure is often seen as a negative experience, but in the world of acting, it is a necessary evil that can lead to growth. Each failed audition can be a stepping stone towards a successful career, teaching invaluable lessons about perseverance, self-awareness, and humor.

Take the case of Steve Carell, best known for his role in “The Office.” He once went in for an audition for a prominent part, only to realize he had completely misunderstood the character’s background. Instead of portraying a sophisticated journalist, Carell came in with a goofy accent and an exaggerated demeanor, thinking it would be a comedic take. “I thought I was nailing it,” Carell said, “but they were just staring at me, their faces completely blank.”

Yet, instead of letting the experience discourage him, Carell channeled that awkwardness into his future roles, embracing the quirky aspects of his personality. This led to a unique comedic style that audiences adore, proving that sometimes, the most cringe-worthy moments can foster the most genuine authenticity.

The Audition Chronicles: Famous Fails

Auditioning is a universal experience among actors, yet some stories stand out for their sheer hilarity. Let’s take a look at a few amusing anecdotes from actors about their worst auditions.

Hugh Jackman: The Overzealous Performer

Hugh Jackman is known for his impressive range, but his audition for “X-Men” is a tale of over-zealousness. Jackman recalls being so excited about the role of Wolverine that he decided to bring a prop: a large, fake claw. “I walked in swinging it around like I was some sort of superhero,” he laughed. However, the claw slipped from his hands, knocking over a lamp and startling the casting directors. “I thought I’d ruined my chance,” he said, “but they ended up loving my enthusiasm.” His willingness to embrace the chaos ultimately helped him land the role, leading to a successful series that defined his career.

Kristen Stewart: The Awkward Silence

Kristen Stewart, famous for her role in “Twilight,” had her fair share of audition disasters. In her early days, she auditioned for a small part in a movie and was asked to perform a dramatic scene. Instead of delivering her lines with intensity, Stewart found herself in a moment of complete silence, unsure of how to convey the emotion. “I just stood there, staring at the wall,” she recalls. “It was like I was rehearsing for a statue role.”

Though she didn’t get the part, the experience taught her about the importance of preparation and the need to embrace the awkwardness of acting. Today, she is celebrated for her ability to convey deep emotions, perhaps because she understands firsthand that silence can be as powerful as speech.

Jim Carrey: The Comedy of Errors

Jim Carrey’s early auditions were a mixed bag of successes and failures. One particularly disastrous audition involved him trying to showcase his impressive physical comedy skills for a serious dramatic role. “I thought I’d really impress them with my acrobatics,” he said. “Instead, I ended with me rolling on the floor, crashing into a chair and knocking over a potted plant. The casting directors were trying not to laugh, but I could see the tears in their eyes. I felt like a complete fool.” Despite the humiliation, Carrey took this experience in stride, recognizing that his unique blend of humor and physicality would eventually become his signature style.

The Silver Lining: Finding Growth in Failure

The beauty of audition failures is that they often serve as reminders that everyone’s journey is imperfect. In a world where success stories dominate headlines, it’s essential to remember that behind every celebrated actor, there’s a treasure trove of audition missteps. These experiences can lead to growth, not just in terms of acting skill but also in character development.

The Importance of Resilience

Rejection is an integral part of an acting career so resilience is a vital quality for any actor. The ability to bounce back from failure and continue pursuing one’s dreams is what separates the good from the great. For many actors, the initial rejection becomes a catalyst for growth.

Take the case of Viola Davis, who is now celebrated for her powerful performances. Early in her career, she faced numerous rejections and awkward auditions. “I remember auditioning for a part where I was supposed to cry. Instead, I ended up laughing uncontrollably,” she recalled. “It was mortifying at the time, but it taught me to embrace my emotions, whether they are happy or sad.”

Davis’s ability to turn a moment of embarrassment into a lesson speaks volumes about the transformative power of failure. She now channels that understanding into her performances, creating characters that resonate deeply with audiences.

Laughter as a Coping Mechanism

Humor can be a powerful coping mechanism in the face of adversity. Many actors have turned their audition flops into comedic material, using their experiences to connect with audiences.

For instance, when Melissa McCarthy was starting her career, she attended an audition for a role that required a high level of physical comedy. In her audition, she attempted a pratfall but ended up tripping and falling flat on her face. “I was so embarrassed that I just started laughing,” she shared. “The casting directors joined in, and for a moment, we were all just a bunch of people laughing at me.”

Instead of viewing this as a setback, McCarthy chose to embrace the humor in the situation. This ability to laugh at herself helped her develop a comedic persona that would eventually lead to iconic roles in films like “Bridesmaids” and “Spy.”

The Lessons of Audition Fails

While it is fun to reflect on the humorous side of audition failures, it’s essential to extract valuable lessons from these experiences. Here are some key takeaways that aspiring actors can learn from the missteps of their idols:

Embrace Vulnerability

Auditioning requires a level of vulnerability that can be intimidating. However, embracing that vulnerability can lead to genuine performances. Actors like Anne Hathaway have publicly shared their own audition blunders. Hathaway once auditioned for a role where she had to sing and dance. Instead, she ended up tripping over her own feet and forgetting her lyrics. “I decided to just laugh it off,” she said. “It made me realize that it’s okay to be imperfect.”

By understanding that vulnerability is part of the process, actors can create authentic connections with their characters and audiences.

Understand That Rejection is Part of the Journey

Rejection is an inevitable part of an acting career. Learning to cope with it can help actors maintain their passion. Tom Hanks, one of the most beloved actors in Hollywood, faced numerous rejections early in his career. “I went to so many auditions where I was told ‘no,’” he recounted. “But each rejection pushed me to work harder and refine my craft.”

Hanks’s perspective highlights that rejection is not the end; it’s merely a stepping stone to success.

Find the Humor in Awkward Situations

Finding humor in awkward moments can be liberating. As many actors have demonstrated, laughter can help alleviate the stress and pressure associated with auditions. When Jonah Hill was auditioning for a role in “Superbad,” he accidentally spilled coffee all over himself just before stepping into the room. “I walked in completely drenched, and instead of apologizing, I just said, ‘Here’s my audition for a wet t-shirt contest!’” he joked. “It broke the ice and made everyone laugh.”

Hill’s ability to diffuse tension with humor illustrates that laughter can be a powerful tool in navigating the ups and downs of auditioning.

The Road to Growth

The world of auditioning is a roller coaster of emotions, filled with moments of anxiety, excitement, and hilarity. While many actors have faced embarrassing auditions and outright failures, these experiences are integral to their growth and success. The stories of these celebrities audition flubs exemplify how the humorous side of auditioning can lead to personal and professional growth.

These anecdotes serve as a reminder that failure is not the end, but rather a stepping stone on the path to success. By embracing vulnerability, understanding that rejection is part of the journey, finding humor in awkward situations, and practicing self-compassion, actors can navigate the challenging world of auditions with resilience and laughter.

Ultimately, it’s the willingness to laugh at oneself, learn from failures, and continue moving forward that truly defines an actor’s journey. So, the next time you find yourself facing an audition—or any daunting challenge—remember that even the most celebrated actors have had their fair share of mishaps. You are in good company!

I’d love to hear from you

Hopefully you’ve enjoyed this post. I’d love to hear from you about what resonated, your audition fails, or even how your journey is treating you. Feel free to comment below, or head over to my Instagram or Facebook and leave a comment or send me a DM.

Filed Under: Acting, Encouragement, Wisdom

It’s no wonder…

Acting, Encouragement, Finances, Wisdom

Welcome back!

And thanks for reading! It’s no wonder the younger generations are unhappy. How do we “keep score” in life? Generally speaking, wealth seems to be what we point to, to think someone has “made it” or become successful. But money may be a bad way to “keep score”.

REMEMBER:

Just a reminder here that when I use the term “actor” I mean it to encompass all forms of acting including voice, stage, and screen.  Yeah, I know I say this every week, but it falls under the heading of “The things that go without saying are the things that most need to be said”.  What follows applies relatively equally to all of these forms of acting.

It’s not like it was…

I don’t think anyone will argue that things are not the same today as they were back when I was growing up in the 60’s and 70’s. In 1975 (a random year I picked for comparison – I was 15 then) median home price was just about $59K. Median car prices were roughly $5K. Median salary was just over $12K.

As of 2023…

Today (using 2023 since 2024 isn’t over yet) median home price is just under $383K. Median car prices are just under $60K. Median salary is just under $75K (I got these from Dr. Google, so can’t vouch for accuracy, but do make the point).  Doing a bit of maths: Home prices have increased 550%. Car prices have increased 1100% (!!), while salaries have increased 500%. It’s no wonder households need more than one income to survive. Add to that: The cost of fuel, electricity, groceries, pretty much everything, and things look pretty bleak for young people trying to get established.

But it’s not really that simple…

Depending on where you live, those numbers can be even more skewed. Buying a home, part of “The American Dream”, depending on where you live, is nearly impossible when you are at the age to start a family. Shoot, sometimes RENTING is nearly impossible. It is, again, no wonder that a lot of 30-somethings are either returning home to live with their parents, or never left in the first place. Understanding that a car (and a cell phone, and internet access, among other things) is no longer a luxury, but a necessity makes things even more difficult.

School…and debt…

We’ve been told for decades that a college education is necessary to make it in the world, and to get that education the VAST majority of students have to take on (sometimes) crippling debt. In the 10’s if not 100’s of thousands of dollars. Having that debt alone reduces the available income to live on. Things are not looking good for our younger generations (I hate the label “millennial, just because today it has a somewhat negative connotation). It’s no wonder young people find it impossible to save for retirement. At the rate we’re going they’re going to wind up working till they die.

And let’s not even talk about health care…

Seriously, I’m not gonna talk about it. We all know it’s WAY too expensive and many people just stay sick instead of getting the care they need.

And the result?

Angst. Despair. Defeat. I see it in the majority of the people I know who are 40 or younger. The cost of living compared to the opportunity to make a living just doesn’t match, and there seems to be no end in sight. I’m glad I’m not just starting out today. I feel for those kids (yeah, I know they are adults, but to me…). Improving your lot is more complicated, more difficult, today too. It’s no wonder there is so much agitation today, and such a rift between boomers and millennials (I really do dislike that term). Young people just can’t use the same strategies we did to get ahead.

Money doesn’t matter…

I hear this quite a lot. When I talk to people about doing things (no, not skipping their coffee or avocado toast…those are ridiculous suggestions) that might help them increase their wealth this is a very common response: Money isn’t important to me. Work life balance, time with family and friends, entertainment, enjoyment…these are the things that are important. And they are important. All work and no play, after all.

The problem is…

Money DOES matter. No, I’m not talking about being rich, or greedy. I’m talking about the framework that presently exists. Without money, there is no home (even if it is an apartment), no car, no phone, and on and on. Even if you are living at home with your parents, money matters – just maybe theirs instead of yours! Money is absolutely not the most important thing in life, but it is certainly in the top 10, and many of the other 9 things in the top ten are either reduced or gone altogether without money. I mean, it’s no wonder so many people feel this way, but in the reality of the world it is a self-defeating way to feel.

So, what do you do?

Well, I am not an expert, and I don’t pretend to have all the answers, but I have been circling the sun for 63 years and I may have seen some things. I like to think I’m not a typical boomer who thinks the strategies that worked for me will work today. And here is my big suggestion: Understand the framework in which we live (like it or not) and make decision within that framework until you can get to a point where you have the ability to change the framework.

Huh?

Yeah, I know…not clear…but here it is in (lengthier) layman’s terms: You don’t have to agree with the way things are, go ahead and rage against the machine, but you DO have to (or at least should) understand how things really are and use that understanding to get to a point where your raging against the machine may actually have some impact.

Here’s an example…

I was having a conversation with one of my kids about finding a place to live. He was adamant that he didn’t want to buy a house because it is “criminal to pay the bank all that money in interest when it is technically their house!”. Sound familiar? And yeah, it stinks. I don’t like it. But the other options aren’t pretty either: Rent and pay a lot of money to someone whose house it also technically is, live with your parents so THEY can pay a bank a bunch of interest, or find a field and pitch a tent. None are good choices but paying a ton of interest while you (albeit slowly) build equity in a property that also appreciates…is clearly the best choice. Understand the framework and work within it till you can change it. Anyway, this post is not abouit buying houses, it is just an example.

And what does this have to do with acting?

Well, I’m glad you asked. If you are an actor, then odds are you are one of the multitude of actors who is not making a “living” with their acting career. Therefore, you probably are (or need to be) working some full time 9-5 job to make ends meet. Which means you don’t have a lot of time to devote to acting if you are trying to live a “normal” life and go to bed at a reasonable time and have some leisure on the weekends.

And if you don’t LOVE acting…

If you don’t love acting, quit reading now, sorry I wasted your time. But if you do love acting, you are going to have to sacrifice now for a better later. Reality says you have to pay all your bills, or you’ll be homeless, so you HAVE to work that 9-5…but you don’t HAVE to go to bed at 10, or 11, or whenever you normally go to bed. You don’t HAVE to relax in front of the tube after dinner and you don’t HAVE to relax on the weekends. You don’t HAVE to sacrifice for an acting career either unless you someday want to be able to support yourself as a working actor. Given the fact that your acting career, at least for some period of time is going to require you to sacrifice something in your life…it’s no wonder so many people give up that dream.

So….

Don’t quit your day job, don’t skip the Froufrou coffee or avocado toast…but DO skip a normal life (I mean compared to non-actors of course) and sacrifice sleep, entertainment, vacations, and family time so that later you can have a successful acting career. And remember: Money is not REALLY what defines success, it just pays the bills so you can pursue it.

If you enjoyed this, please leave a comment below to let me know.  If you DIDN’T enjoy it, well, I’d like to hear from you too!  And please feel free to share this blog on social media or with other people you think might enjoy it.

If you haven’t already, please feel free to subscribe so you don’t miss anything – and as a thank you receive a free copy of my E-Book: Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About getting Started in Voice Over but Didn’t Know Who to Ask! 

 

Filed Under: Acting, Encouragement, Finances, Wisdom

DILIGENCE

Acting, Encouragement, Wisdom

Welcome back!

And thanks for reading! Acting can be a tough job. Sometimes it just feels like nothing is happening. It can be discouraging at times, and many now well-known actors were at a point in their careers where they were ready to throw in the towel just before they got their big break. An acting career requires diligence to be successful. This week let’s talk a bit about being diligent.

REMEMBER:

Just a reminder here that when I use the term “actor” I mean it to encompass all forms of acting including voice, stage, and screen.  Yeah, I know I say this every week, but it falls under the heading of “The things that go without saying are the things that most need to be said”.  What follows applies relatively equally to all of these forms of acting.

What is diligence?

It’ll come as no surprise to those of you who actually read this blog every week (except last week, since my life is so hectic right now I actually fogot to write!) that I’ve turned to my favorite online dictionary, Merriam-Webster to find the definition of diligence:

;steady, earnest, and energetic effort : devoted and painstaking work and application to accomplish an undertaking : assiduity

Steady, earnest, energetic, devoted and painstaking. THAT’S what you need to be to make it in this industry.

Coming up with things to write about

One of the most difficult things about writing a (mostly) weekly missive is figuring out what things to write about. And of course once finding a topic stretching that out to about 1500 words (my self-imposed word count for this blog), but that is a topic for another day. So how do I come up with a topic? Well, usually I pull from something that happened over the last week, and this week is no different.

A story

I wrote a couple weeks ago about how chaotic my life is these days buying, selling, and improving real estate, as we prepare to move to a different state. As we approach the date our house goes “live” in the real estate market it’s a scramble to get everything done. There is so much to do that in some instances we needed to hire people to help us, and this week was one of those weeks.

The house is dirty

No, not that kind of dirty. It had algae and just general filth all over it from, well, sitting outside all the time. It’s funny how you don’t notice these things until it’s time to have a million pictures taken to showcase your home for other people to want to buy it. Anyway, it needed to be pressure washed so it looks good, and it was just too big of a job for me to do myself. Besides, it is tall and I am afraid of heights. So, we hired a professional power washing company and scheduled them for last Wednesday.

We have a deadline

Pictures are on the 12th, and the yard guys are coming on the 10th to landscape, so the house needed to be cleaned by the 9th. No problem, right? We scheduled the washing for March 27th to make sure we had plenty of time to get it done before the landscapers arrive NEXT Wednesday. And then…

It rained

Under the heading of things you can’t control, it rained all day Wednesday. So, when I saw the forecast, I called the power wash guy. Of course, he can’t really work in heavy rain so needed to push off the job till the weather was better. And then it rained Thursday. And Friday.

Schedules and Deadlines

Funny thing about schedules and deadlines: They don’t always align. I wish I was his only customer, but that’s not realistic. This coming week was a full schedule for him, and he doesn’t work weekends (especially not Easter weekend) so it looked a lot like it just wasn’t going to be done in time. He wanted the job so we discussed how we might get it done and he agreed to come out Saturday to do the job, even though his wife was not really happy about it.

It’s a big house

Apparently, bidding a job based on Google Earth and pictures on Zillow is not terribly accurate. When he got here and actually saw the job, he realized he had significantly underbid. He’s honorable though and agreed to do the job at the original bid anyway: Good for me, bad for him. He also was doing this job alone because no one in his crew was willing to work the weekend. And he asked me to never tell anyone what he charged if I recommended him (I definitely recommend him – if you want to know and live in Northern VA give me a shout).

Here’s where the diligence comes in

He began working, alone, at around 11:30 Saturday morning. At 8PM he was about ¾ of the way done with the house, but hadn’t started the garage yet – oh, and it rained a bit too. I spoke with him as he was wrapping up for the day, and he said he’d have to get back to me on a time to return. He contacted me later that night and said he’d be back Sunday to finish. True to his word he arrived about 1:30 PM Sunday and got to work. I asked how much trouble he was in at home, and he said “Well, a bit”. An understatement to go along with his under bid.

Aaaaand….

Around 8:30 PM I went out to check on him again. He was just finishing up the garage, but still had ¼ of the house to finish. And it was full dark. And he hadn’t eaten all day. Clearly, he wasn’t going to be able to finish (and get paid) so he said he’d be back Tuesday for the last little bit. And of course it is predicting rain all day Tuesday. April showers and all. I have no doubt he’ll get it done by the deadline, though, because I can see he is very DILIGENT. I plan to give him a good-sized tip, partly because he has done an amazing job this far, and partly because I feel kinda bad for him.

What does all that have to do with acting?

I’m glad you asked. I’ll start by saying that’s the kind of actor I want to be. No, not the kind that has to start a power washing business to survive, the kind that just doesn’t give up even in the face of major difficulty and does an amazing job to boot. I want to be a diligent actor. Steady, earnest, energetic, devoted and painstaking (remember those from earlier?). Just like this guy.

Sometimes

Sometimes this work can be discouraging. You submit, and submit, and submit. Audition, and audition, and audition. And Nothing. When you do book work, it seems the roles are small (there are no small roles BTW), or the project is small and won’t be seen by many people, or the project doesn’t have much of a budget, so the pay is low, or the project never gets done. It’s enough to make you want to quit. And a lot of people do.

DON’T

Jenna Fischer (Pam in The Office) writes in her book: The Actor’s Life: A Survival Guide, that just before she booked the role of Pam she was considering giving up acting and concentrating on a 9-5. Bryan Cranston (Walter White in Breaking Bad among many others) writes in his book: A Life in Parts about his struggles early in his career and considering giving up acting. But neither did, and now you know them. There are a lot more, but you get the idea. 

IMDB

Take a look at any well-known actor’s IMDB page and you will see tons of projects you’ve never heard of nestled in between all the ones you know well. Unknown projects, low paid roles, weeks, months, sometimes years between gigs is common in the industry. The one thing (besides great acting) that sets these well-known people apart is this: Diligence. They never gave up. They were steady, earnest, energetic, devoted and painstaking in pursuing their craft and career. You (and I) should be too.

So, just don’t

Don’t give up. I’d say don’t get discouraged, but that may be a bridge too far, just: Don’t. Give. Up. Stay focused. Be Steady. Be earnest. Be energetic. Be devoted. Be painstaking. And keep on going. To be honest, the odds of you becoming a Jenna Fischer or Bryan Cranston are small (very small actually) but the odds of you becoming a working actor who is able to support themselves with their craft? WAY bigger. And besides, the odds of you being able to do either of those things is exactly ZERO if you give up! So, just don’t.

 If you enjoyed this, please leave a comment below to let me know.  If you DIDN’T enjoy it, well, I’d like to hear from you too!  And please feel free to share this blog on social media or with other people you think might enjoy it.

If you haven’t already, please feel free to subscribe so you don’t miss anything – and as a thank you receive a free copy of my E-Book: Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About getting Started in Voice Over but Didn’t Know Who to Ask! 

Filed Under: Acting, Encouragement, Wisdom

REJECTION!

Acting, Encouragement, Wisdom

Welcome back!

And thanks for reading! If you’re an actor, you know very well what rejection feels like. The question is, how do you handle rejection? A better question is: IS it really rejection? This week let’s talk about rejection and how to handle it.

REMEMBER:

Just a reminder here that when I use the term “actor” I mean it to encompass all forms of acting including voice, stage, and screen.  Yeah, I know I say this every week, but it falls under the heading of “The things that go without saying are the things that most need to be said”.  What follows applies relatively equally to all of these forms of acting.

Job Hunting

Acting is one of the only jobs you can have where you are constantly looking for work. Most people spend some time trying to find a job and then when they find one, they work at it for at least a few years (normally) before having to find another. And most of the time they are looking while working so it is relatively stress free. Most of the time. As an actor, finding a job typically means being employed for days or maybe weeks before you are looking for another job. Very few actors get long term roles that last for years.

What is Rejection?

I like to turn to my favorite resource to answer questions like this: The Dictionary. According to Merriam-Webster – my go-to dictionary – here is the definition of rejection:

  • a : the action of rejecting : the state of being rejected

b: an immune response in which foreign tissue (as of a skin graft or transplanted organ) is attacked by immune system components of the recipient organism

  • : something rejected

Not really much help when they use the word they are defining to define that word. I guess they expect everyone to already know what it means. Let’s turn to the Cambridge Dictionary:

the act of refusing to accept, use, or believe someone or something:

There we go! For an actor, it is the “refusing to accept” part we’ll be focusing on.

Rejection

We’ve all experienced rejection from time to time in searching for work. You just don’t get every job you apply for. It’s normal, but it can still suck. For most people, that form of rejection occurs every few years and then there is a long break. For actors? Rejection occurs almost daily. And not just once for each job. For an actor, each job provides three opportunities to be rejected, each one slightly worse than the last.

Submission

The first step in applying for any acting job is the submission. This is where you see a role you think you may be a fit for and you submit your “materials”. Your materials are head shots, resumes and acting reels (for VO it’s usually just a voice reel). Casting takes a look (or listen) to your materials and then decides if you really could be a good fit for the role. This step is by far the easiest rejection to take because you typically hear nothing back from submissions. Actors get used to this level of rejection very quickly in their career and just move on to submit to other roles. We submit for multiple roles every day.

Audition

Then, it happens. One of your submissions hits and you get the much sought after request for an audition. You pour yourself into preparing for the audition, studying the script, figuring out the “who, what, where” of the scene, the tone of scene and who your character is. Then you spend some time familiarizing yourself with the dialog and actions in the scene, memorize your lines and put on some clothes that suggests the character. You find a reader (if you need one) and head to whatever studio setup you have, record 2-3 takes (honestly, don’t drive yourself nuts doing 10 takes). Then it’s off to your computer to pick the best take, edit it, make sure sound and lighting are good and send the audition off to casting.

Crickets

Even after all the work of preparing for, recording, and editing your audition, crickets is usually what you hear back from casting. Honestly, not even crickets. Silence. The most likely outcome of sending an audition is: Nothing. This rejection is much harder to take. You worked hard, did all the prep, rehearsed the scene, and gave your best performance. And then not even a “Thank you for your time, we are going another way”.  It can be discouraging.

Call Back

And then it happens – you get a call back! Of course, a call back means they liked your audition and are considering you for the role. This is a very exciting time for an actor because it means you might get cast! YEA! So, you take another look at the scene, rehearse a little more and then make yourself available to meet with the casting team and perhaps the director or producer of the project, either in-person or more likely these days virtually. It can be nerve wracking and anxiety producing. I mean, you might actually get a job! Then, the call back meeting lasts about ten minutes, and you are done. It’s kind of anti-climactic.

More Crickets

Yep, the usual result is even more crickets after the call back. Sometimes they may ask about availability (this is a good sign!) or even “pin” you (an even better sign) for the day or days you’d be working. At least if they pin you when they decide to go with another actor, they’ll tell you they are releasing you, so you know for sure you didn’t get it. This is the hardest rejection to take since you had high expectations of getting the role.

But….

There’s always a but, right!? AS bad as it can feel to be rejected, the thing is these are NOT rejections. Yes, they can feel like rejection, but there is a much better way to look at casting when you don’t get the role. It may even make not getting cast feel less like a rejection.

Selection

Casting is a process of selection, NOT rejection. The first thing to understand is that, for a given project/role, there are dozens, if not hundreds, if not THOUSANDS of submissions. Casting has a tough job to sort through them all to find the perfect actor for the role. What they are not doing is looking for people to exclude, they are looking for people to INclude. Actors are being selected, not rejected.

The Menu Analogy

Let’s say you decide to go out to dinner at your favorite restaurant (the project). You sit down and the waiter brings you a menu (submissions). Even though you may be familiar with the menu offerings you peruse the menu deciding what to have for dinner. You are leaning toward either a steak or roast chicken, so you ignore the pork, fish, pasta, and salads. Finally, you decide on the chicken and that’s what you order. Enjoy your meal. Have you rejected pork, fish, pasta, salad, and steak? Not at all, you may order one of those next time.

You’re The Menu Item!

When you submit to a role, you become one of many menu items to choose from. Casting looks through all the menu items and selects several they might be interested in then considers only those (audition) they narrow it down to just one or two choices (callback) and eventually decide on just one to order (cast). Just like you don’t always feel like pork or fish or pasta, not every actor (no matter how talented) is right for every role. They were not rejected; they just weren’t selected.

It has nothing to do with…

Their selection of someone else has nothing to do with how talented you are as an actor. Does eating chicken mean steak or pasta are terrible? NO! They just weren’t the right selection for that day. There are SO many reasons a person may or may not be selected that have nothing to do with their talent. How tall are they? Hair color? Eye color? Accent? Body type? Availability? All of these (and many more) are reasons a given actor may not be selected for a role, even when they absolutely nail the audition. They just don’t fit for some reason.

Remember

If you’ve been asked to audition, you were selected. If you’ve been invited to a call back, you were selected. If you’ve been pinned (even if later released) you’ve been selected. And, of course, if you’ve been offered the role you were selected. By the time you get a role, you’ve been selected numerous times! So, rejoice in getting the audition and give them the most attractive menu item you can be, then celebrate the actor who was selected for the role, one day it will be you!

If you enjoyed this, please leave a comment below to let me know.  If you DIDN’T enjoy it, well, I’d like to hear from you too!  And please feel free to share this blog on social media or with other people you think might enjoy it.

If you haven’t already, please feel free to subscribe so you don’t miss anything – and as a thank you receive a free copy of my E-Book: Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About getting Started in Voice Over but Didn’t Know Who to Ask! 

Looking for your next great non-fiction read? Look no further! Check out this promotion: Spring Into Action 

Filed Under: Acting, Encouragement, Wisdom

CHAOS!

Acting, Encouragement, Wisdom

Welcome back!

And thanks for reading! Moving sucks. There I said it! We are presently in a transition period, moving from Virginia to South Carolina. And while I look forward to our new home (someday) the transition period is pretty chaotic. And it definitely impacts an acting career! This week let’s talk about chaotic life events!

REMEMBER:

Just a reminder here that when I use the term “actor” I mean it to encompass all forms of acting including voice, stage, and screen.  Yeah, I know I say this every week, but it falls under the heading of “The things that go without saying are the things that most need to be said”.  What follows applies relatively equally to all of these forms of acting.

It’s a LOT

Have you ever changed houses? Locations? Doing both certainly adds a level of complexity to life. We are doing that right now and there are a LOT of moving pieces. As I sit typing this at 6:15AM on Monday March 11, 2024 I am working with four realtors. Well, actually, today it’s three since we actually completed one transaction, but I am talking to yet another so it will likely be four again soon. Just keeping their names and what each is doing for me straight is chaos enough!

Here’s what is happening

First, I am attempting to sell my home. That’s one realtor (and she is fantastic – if you are in Northern Virginia and need a realtor, reach out and I’ll recommend). We own a very nice, large, home. Some might call it a McMansion, although it was originally built way back in the 1950’s. I don’t mention this to brag, but it bears on preparation to sell. This type of home requires a particular type of executive buyer, so it has to be marketed just right. Enter the realtors staging expert. She’s really a nice lady, but I hate her. If you’re not familiar with staging I envy you. This is where someone goes through your house and tells you what to get rid of and how to arrange everything.

You kind of have to pre-pack

In order to properly stage a house, you kind of have to pre-pack most of it and store the extra stuff…what I call the things you use every day and the stager calls “clutter”. As you can see by the picture our garage is filling up with the stuff we packed. To be fair, Karen has packed most of it but I have moved it all down to the garage.  I won’t show you a picture, but the house is a wreck with moving boxes and packing paper everywhere. Chaos.

Second

Next, we are having a house built in South Carolina. If you didn’t know, South Carolina is a 7-hour drive from Northern Virginia, and in the last two months we have been down there for one thing or another seven or eight times. I’m actually sitting in South Carolina right NOW, as my son moved down here yesterday and we had a truck and car load of stuff to bring down. Enter realtor number 5 (well, 4 now I suppose) to help him find a new place so he doesn’t live with his sister too long.  Anyway, having a house built means a bajillion design decisions and tracking progress, hence realtor number two. She’s ALSO fantastic so if you are looking to have a house built (or buy one) in the Charleston area, I can recommend her too.

Then

We are also selling a piece of land we thought we might build on here in South Carolina (realtor number 3). This one is pretty easy, since it is bare land and nothing to get ready…but also not a lot of offers rolling in.  This one hardly adds to the chaos, although it does to some extent, and if we don’t sell quickly it’s not a tragedy.

And of course…

Since we are moving away from one grandson (but closer to a soon-to-be granddaughter though) we purchased an acre in West Virginia (near that grandson) where we can park our RV for extended visits. We closed on that land last week, which is why that realtor dropped off the list, but added a General Contractor to coordinate a well, septic system, and electric service installation there. We’re barely started there so finishing the purchase will just ADD to the chaos.

My life is all over the place

Between getting our Virginia home ready, tracking and making decisions on the South Carolina home, preparing the West Virginia land for the RV and fielding offers (not as many as I’d like) on the South Carolina property – we are all over the place. Literally. We spend a LOT of time traveling back and forth between all these places. Sometimes I feel like I need an extra 12 hours for each day in order to be ready for everything. Oh, yeah, and my daughter is having a baby next month so I also have all the stuff associated with that to contend with (baby showers and the birth too!). And did I mention I am also producing a podcast? I’ll let you know when it releases. And, of course, regular life as well…that hasn’t gone away.

And then…work

I’m fortunate to be retired from my day job, and don’t require income from my acting career to be able to live. I still want to (and do) work though. I’ve had to make some adjustments. Those adjustments are really kind of the point of this post, sorry you had to wade through all of the above first, but I felt it was important to provide context in describing the adjustments. The real message here is that if you love what you do, you can do it even in the midst of chaos.

Acting class

Sadly, when you have a lot on your plate some things just have to fall off. For me, that meant pausing acting classes/coaching.  It’s temporary and I am already researching acting classes in South Carolina, but we won’t be here full time until late this year (the builder is telling us November). Since we put our house on the market next month and expect to be out by June, that means several nomadic months in the RV which is not conducive to attending a weekly class. So, pause to acting classes. I’ve got two more paid up guitar lessons and then that pauses too.

The booth

One of the things the staging lady called “clutter” is my VO booth. It’s not down yet, but will have to be in the next couple weeks. If you know anyone looking for a broadcast quality booth, let me know I’ve got one at a good price since it won’t fit in the new house. Anyway, the adjustment is figuring out a temporary portable solution. I’m ready there, but don’t need to implement it till the booth comes down.

The Studio

My audition filming studio is, apparently, also clutter. That has to also come down in the next couple weeks. As a result, I’ve had to not only figure out a temporary solution for at home, but come up with a way to audition from the RV. I’ve locked down the RV solution (even booked a job with an RV audition!) even though it is not optimal. I suspect my home solution (which is on my to-do list) won’t be optimal either.

Scheduling

I’ve had to cut back on the number of roles I submit for. With my present schedule, I simply can’t submit for everything I am a fit for like I was doing. So, I’ve had to really pay close attention to not only production dates, but locations as well and then be very selective. It means I’m not able to work as much as I’d like to. The timing on this is actually pretty good, since there is a bit of a contraction in the industry right now and I am not missing out on too many jobs anyway, because they are not there.

The message

My point in all of this is not to complain. Far from it. This is a very exciting time in our lives and I am looking forward to making the move, even though things are a bit hectic at the moment. The real message here is that if you love what you do you can keep doing it even in the face of this much chaos. It would be very easy to simply “pause” my acting career till all of this is done, but that would likely lead to stagnation and maybe never un-pausing it. So, if your life looks chaotic right now like mine does, don’t stop! Make whatever adjustments you need and keep moving forward, even if it is slowly. I think you’ll be glad you did. I’ll let you know when my chaos dies down.

If you enjoyed this, please leave a comment below to let me know.  If you DIDN’T enjoy it, well, I’d like to hear from you too!  And please feel free to share this blog on social media or with other people you think might enjoy it.

If you haven’t already, please feel free to subscribe so you don’t miss anything – and as a thank you receive a free copy of my E-Book: Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About getting Started in Voice Over but Didn’t Know Who to Ask! 

Looking for your next great non-fiction read? Look no further! Check out this promotion: Spring Into Action 

Filed Under: Acting, Encouragement, Wisdom

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