GARY MASON

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gary@gary-mason.com

Encouragement

Your dance moves might not be the best, but I promise making a fool of yourself is more fun than sitting on the bench alone

Acting, Encouragement, Voice Over

Continuing the series

With this week’s topic “Your dance moves might not be the best, but I promise making a fool of yourself is more fun than sitting on the bench alone”.

The dreaded school dances.

Come on, admit it.  When you were in Middle School (or as we called it Junior High School) and went to your first school dance you were as embarrassed as I was to actually dance, right? No?  Just me?  I doubt it. In my experience there were a half dozen girls out there dancing and everyone else was stationed in two camps (one boys camp and one girls camp) on opposite sides of the school gymnasium. Well, maybe except for the occasional slow dance.

My mom

My mom loved to dance, and whenever I would come home from a school dance, she always asked me: “Did you dance?”.  She asked because she knew the answer was always no.  And then she would inevitably use a phrase similar to this week’s topic to remind me that it would be more fun to dance, and no one cared how I looked doing it.  Needless to say, I was sure she was lying just so she too could laugh at me for embarrassing myself.

She was right

I hate to admit it, but my mom was right.  I’d love to say she was right about most things, but I’d be lying…about this topic, though, she was spot on.  When I finally did get out to dance (not JUST the slow dances) I had a blast, and no one cared how goofy I looked doing it.  Although I confess, I enjoyed the slow dances a lot more.  I still do and believe it or not almost 50 years later I still feel self-conscious dancing in public.  I generally don’t do it without some “liquid courage” even though I have taken some dance lessons.

But here’s the thing

I look back on all those school dances (and can still feel how self-conscious I was at them) and I can’t remember thinking other people couldn’t dance.  I never once watched someone else dance and laughed at them or was embarrassed for them.  Mostly, I thought, “I wish I could dance like that!”.  I really should have gotten out there more, and maybe I would feel more comfortable dancing today.

It’s not just dancing

I doubt I am alone in this, but the idea of not participating in something because you don’t feel talented enough is not just about dancing.  I believe this applies to many areas in life.  Sports, work, dating…and I think a lot of people miss out on some pretty fantastic experiences because of it.

And sometimes, we do suck at it

Not everyone can be good at everything.  Sometimes we do things we love, and we just don’t do them very well.  But if you love doing it, you do it in spite of not being very good at it.  Don’t sweat it, though, because everyone has something they suck at!

Golf

I love golf.  I mean, it is a passion of mine.  Like, I’ll play every chance I get and I only started golfing a few years ago.  And here’s the thing:  I feel like I am a really BAD golfer most times.  I’m self-conscious whenever I play with someone I don’t know or who I hadn’t played with before (which, if you golf you know makes your game even worse).  I golf anyway though.

And what happens?

A couple things happen when I golf all the time.  The first thing I notice is almost everyone is bad at golf, or at least has really bad days.  And the next thing that happens is (and this is the important part): I get better at the game!    And of course, I have fun.  Playing bad golf is a lot more fun than NOT playing bad golf.

That’s kind of how it works

It’s almost universally true that the more you do something, the better you get at it.  I think the old saying is “practice makes perfect”.  Although I don’t believe anyone can ever be “perfect” at something, I mean even Tiger Woods only wins some of his tournaments, you can definitely become proficient at things by doing them.  But you have to do them!  And sometimes, you can even have fun while you’re at it.

Think about…

Think back to all the things you won’t do because you’re embarrassed.  And then try and remember other people doing those same things that you thought were really bad at it or who made a fool of themselves.  Can you think of anyone?  If you can, I would say not very many.  The simple truth of the matter is that most people are simply too absorbed with their own actions (and possible embarrassment) to even be paying attention to you.  Honestly if you knew how little other people even notice you, let alone think about you, no one would be embarrassed about anything.  Almost.

The entertainment industry

Working in the entertainment industry is no different, no matter what aspect of the industry you are in.  Particularly as the talent, I find that a lot of people who would love to do Voice Over or Act simply don’t do it because they are afraid of making a fool of themselves.  Sure, you can (and probably will) have a performance that is worth remembering not because of how brilliant it was but because of how NOT brilliant it was.  And so will everyone else.  So…who cares?

And you will improve

It’s inevitable, if you keep doing something over and over…including VO and acting, you will get better.  Everyone starts somewhere, and nobody gives an award-winning performance the first thing out of the gate. So, if performing is something you want to do, don’t let a fear of making a fool of yourself stop you!

Earning a living

It is true that it is difficult to earn a living as a VO artist or actor.  At least at first.  So the truth is, if you want to be a part of this industry to become rich and famous, you are approaching it for the wrong reasons.  Many people, and not just the ultra-famous people, make a living as actors and VO professionals.  Eventually. Remember it is said that it takes ten years to become an overnight success.  But it will never happen if you just sit on the sidelines and dream about doing it.  It takes the same 10 years whether you start today or 10 years from now…so if it’s what you really want, start now.  It is NEVER too late!

You can’t do this for money or accolades

I mean, you CAN get them, but it can’t be your motivation. If it is, then I suggest you are in the wrong industry.  To really succeed as a performer, you have to do it because you love it.  If you love what you are doing, and you do it, you have already succeeded even if you never make a dime.

There are ways…

And there are proven, time tested ways to improve your chances of being able to earn a decent living as a performer. Start by finding classes to take that will teach you the basic methods to deliver a performance, and then continue to both take classes and get coached along the way.  Each of these things give you an opportunity to actually perform in a safe and non-judgmental atmosphere to acquire and hone the skills you need to be successful.

And by non-judgmental, I mean…

You know if you are in a class or working with a coach their JOB is to tell you what you need to improve, right?  So, in effect they are (by design) judging your performance.  You will get critiqued, but don’t let that stop you, it’s part of how you improve.  Classes and coaching sessions are the place it is safe to be judged because it is your improvement that is the goal.

And there will be critics

It is a sad reality of this profession that there will be people who are critical of your performance. The performing arts are so…subjective.  One person will love your work while another will hate the same performance.  There is just no escaping it.  As a performer, you simply can’t let a bad review keep you from pursuing your career.  You do the very best you can, and make sure YOU liked your performance…and that’s that!

But none of it matters…

The only way to get a bad review is to be performing.  None of it matters if you remain seated.  If performing is something you dream of then not doing it because you are afraid of “making a fool” of yourself means you’ve already failed.  So, remember:  Your dance moves might not be the best, but I promise making a fool of yourself is more fun than sitting on the bench alone.  And you never know where you might end up!

Looking for your next great read?  Check out the “New Ideas and Different Perspectives” promotion!

If you enjoyed this, please leave a comment below to let me know.  If you DIDN’T enjoy it, well, I’d like to hear from you too!  And please feel free to share this blog on social media or with other people you think might enjoy it.

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Make the little things count.

Acting, Encouragement, Voice Over, Wisdom

Continuing the series

With this week’s topic “Make the little things count”.

An old adage

Almost everyone has heard it: “It’s the little things that count”.  I like to tell my kids these saying don’t just fall out of the sky, they develop over time for a reason, and this one is no different.  This quote originated in the 20th century (believe it or not) and is attributed to a system’s programmer at the RAND corporation, Cliff Shaw.  What he actually said was: “It’s the little things that count, hundreds of them”.

And it’s no wonder, really

It’s not surprising that the phrase was coined by an early programmer.  Anyone who has done any coding will know that the smallest mistake can make a program crash.  But the truth of it has been around for a lot longer, and there are a lot of little sayings that relate to it. “Watch the pennies, and the dollars will take care of themselves” (Ben Franklin) for example;  and “The devil is in the details” (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche).

But it’s been true forever

As far back as time itself, big things are made up of all the little things.  Look around, a huge brick mansion is made with thousands of small bricks, huge pyramids are constructed out of thousands of smaller (OK, they are still big though) stones.  And don’t forget your body is made up of billions of cells, which in turn are made up of thousands of atoms.  It’s kind of mind blowing if you think of it.

It’s not just material things

Those little things matter in a lot of ways.  Ways that affect you every day, but you maybe don’t notice anymore.  Do you go to the same establishment frequently?  Does it make you smile when the people working there recognize you and greet you?  A little thing that makes a big difference! One of my favorite little features that makes a big difference in the car is the short flash mode for turn signals so you don’t have to remember to turn them off after changing lanes.  Now if I can just remember to turn them ON to change lanes…

If you pay attention

Today, take some time to notice all those little things that happen without you really noticing.  Pay attention to all the things people do, or little additional features in your favorite products that just make your life easier.  I think you’ll be surprised at how many little things you notice that really matter.

And remember

That great things are built out of a lot of little things.  If you are as old as I am, then even sitting here today in front of a computer, using a word processor and posting to the internet is the result of a million little things to get us here.  I was born in 1960.  We hadn’t yet been to the moon, or cooked food in a microwave, or talked on a phone that wasn’t attached to the system with wires or a myriad of other things.

And it didn’t happen all at once

Where we are today is the product of millions of experiments, development, and improvement over time.  We all KNOW that, but rarely think of it in those terms.  This keyboard I type on started its life as typesetting in a printing press, then moved on to a manual typewriter, then an electric typewriter (I loved the ones that would “backspace” and erase mistakes without white out) and now finally a keyboard for a computer.  Each small improvement builds onto earlier improvements over time.

And neither did you

You didn’t happen all at once either.  And I’m not just talking about being formed and born.  I mean SINCE birth.  The you that exists today is the result of countless “little things” that have grown and shaped you over time.  It is the culmination of all those little things that make you…well, you (as opposed to, say, me). And if you are still breathing, you are not done.

But you know what?

All of those things I’ve written to this point are great but only serve to highlight the importance of the main point of this topic which is not “Pay attention to and notice all the small important things around you” but is instead “MAKE the little things count”.  An important distinction, but without the context of the importance it’s just a cute saying.

Wait, what?

Make them count?  We are 800 words into this short essay, and I’ve spent them telling you that those small things DO count, so why do we have to make them count? I’m SO confused! Don’t fret, I’ll explain.

Up to this point

Up to now I’ve been talking about how the little things that happen to you are important so that you’ll believe this next part.  And here it is:  All the little things you do for someone else are just as important to them.  And they remember them, just like you do.  For example, are you recognized at an establishment you frequent and go there instead of somewhere else because of it?  You remember.  They will too.

Relationships

At the risk of sounding like a broken record (Hmmm…vinyl records…talk about incremental improvements over time!), the entertainment industry is built on relationships.  I won’t say it is more important than talent (although sometimes I believe it is) but I can firmly say it is equally important. Making those small things count is what builds and strengthens those relationships.    And if you are not intentional about them, not MAKING them count, you could miss out on great things.

Why does it matter?

As a performer of any kind, VO, stage actor, screen actor…any of them…you are in a freelance industry where the commodity you are selling is YOU.  Your goal is to book jobs, and it is other people who make the decisions who to book.  What you want, no…what you NEED…as a performer is for people to remember you and want to work with you when they have a role to cast.

OK, so how do you make small things count?

Well, a good question and maybe MAKING small things count is a bit misleading.  They do count, already…but only if you DO them.  What follows, in no particular order, is a PARTIAL list of things to do to stand out to people.  With the hope of building relationships and out of that HOPEFULLY booking work.  Remember: The motivation has to be building relationships not booking work.  Booking work is a by-product of relationship building.

Some small things to always do

Again, these are not in order of any importance (I’d say they are equally important, really) and it is not an exhaustive list but should serve to give you an idea what I am talking about:

Remember names: You like it when people use your name, so make a habit of remembering people’s names (I am absolutely abysmal at this myself and am working on it, which is probably why it is the first one on the list).

Be on time: You want to get noticed on a production?  Be the person who is always 15 minutes early for your call time.

Be prepared: Showing up 15 minutes early won’t help you if you haven’t spent time preparing for the job.  Memorize lines, rehearse them ahead of time…whatever the job requires.

Be pleasant:  If you are unpleasant, they’ll remember you too…but for the wrong thing.

Be helpful: As long as it doesn’t go against union rules (assuming it is a union job) be seen as that “team player” who is always willing to help.

Be encouraging: Especially to new or younger folks and particularly to traditionally “forgotten” folks like the BG actors.  Remember to praise publicly but admonish (if you are in a position to do so) privately.

Friendly and reliable

At the end of the day most of this is talking about being intentional about making sure you are friendly and reliable.  You want to be the person people enjoy working with AND who people know they can rely on.  Like becoming you, it is not going affect your career overnight but over time you’re going to wind up being the first one they call when they are trying to fill a role.  So remember: Make the little things count!

Looking for your next great read?  Check out the “New Ideas and Different Perspectives” promotion!

If you enjoyed this, please leave a comment below to let me know.  If you DIDN’T enjoy it, well, I’d like to hear from you too!  And please feel free to share this blog on social media or with other people you think might enjoy it.

If you haven’t already, please feel free to subscribe so you don’t miss anything!

 

You won’t always be the strongest or the fastest. But you can be the toughest

Acting, Encouragement, Voice Over, Wisdom

Continuing the series

With this week’s topic “You won’t always be the strongest or the fastest. But you can be the toughest”.

Bear with me…

This week’s topic seems like a doozy to write about, and probably no less a doozy to read about.  But bear with me, it is pertinent to VO and acting, and we’ll get to that.

First

First things first.  If you’ve been reading the last 33 blog posts, you already know that I selected 38 topics (here’s the first one if you care) from a list of 100 wisest words.  There was no attribution, so I try to figure out who said it.  And this week I didn’t find ANYTHING, so my guess is it was coined by the anonymous teacher mentioned in the original Facebook post. But there is a close second, where most people think it came from (THINK).

Darwin

I love the Darwin awards, where people wind up dying because they did really stupid things.  It makes me feel a little less stupid, likely just because I haven’t died yet.  Evidence to that is the fact that I am writing this blog.  Anyway, many people think this phrase evolved (see what I did there?) from something Charles Darwin said which is often quoted as: “It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change.”.

Except

The problem is, Charles Darwin did not say it, this was adapted from a quote in a textbook written by Leon C. Megginson.  Yeah, I never heard of him either.  And it’s not exactly what he said, which was: “According to Darwin’s Origin of Species, it is not the most intellectual of the species that survives; it is not the strongest that survives; but the species that survives is the one that is able best to adapt and adjust to the changing environment in which it finds itself.”.

All that to say…

I can’t find an origin for the quote (other than the Facebook meme).  But I DID try!  And anyway, not being able to find the origin doesn’t make the idea of it any less true.

There is always someone…

Growing up my mom used to tell me all the time that no matter how big, fast, smart…whatever…I got, there was always going to be someone bigger, faster, smarter…whatever…than me.  From a philosophical standpoint, if I really think about it, I’d say that’s true from my perspective…but for SOMEONE out there it isn’t true.  There HAS to be a biggest, fastest, smartest…whateverist…person out there.  There I go digressing again.

The thing is…

While it is good advice and keeps people (me) from getting a “big head” about myself, the truth is this: It doesn’t matter.  Look around, the biggest, fastest, smartest…whateverist… (are you tired of that yet?  I kind of am) person is not always the one that is successful.  I’d venture to say if they are successful, these things are not why.  Surely, they help.  Maybe give some people an advantage.  But they are not the why.  I posit it is how tough they are.

Toughness

What does it mean for a person to be tough?  Well, Merriam-Webster defines it as: the quality or state of being tough.  Not helpful.  But they do list a bunch of “such as” examples.  I won’t paste them all here, even though it would help me reach my self-imposed 1500-word target for this blog, but here is the one I am thinking of: “physical or emotional strength that allows someone to endure strain or hardship”.  You can read the other ones at the link above.

It’s life

Honestly enduring strain or hardship is an inescapable facet of life for, well…everyone.  And if you think the rich and famous don’t have strain or hardship, then I am guessing you are not paying attention.  There are many examples of celebrities going through tough times, the most recent is probably the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard trial happening right now here in Fairfax Virginia.  EVERYONE struggles.

And some…

Some folks don’t weather the struggles very well. I think we all know people who have been crushed under the weight of hardship.  Some with good reason.  Even though we all struggle at times, some people wind up with more hardships than others.  Toughness, in my mind, is the ability to face hardship and not give up.  To keep charging forward.

This business

In a lot of ways, the entertainment business is a series of hardships back-to-back with an occasional “win” interspersed.  We audition, get called back and audition again…and then never hear anything.  Honestly, I find that if you are an analytical, numbers person you’ll discover quickly that the odds of booking a given job are very small.  And there is nearly always going to be a better actor or VO artist than you. Even if you ARE the best performer to audition, you may still not get the job!

It’s so random!

I’m finding there are so many aspects of a given role that are completely out of our control.  Maybe you are too tall, or too short, or too young, or too old, or your voice is too high or too low.  Maybe you have the wrong hair or eye color.  You could have the BEST performance, but if you just don’t fit the vision of the role they want…you won’t get it.  It can be very discouraging…especially if you are fond of eating or having a roof over your head. Not many actors these days don’t require a “survival job” to pursue their passion.

Easy to give up

It can be so discouraging, that many people give up their dream because of it.  The simple truth here is if you are doing this (whatever “this” is in the entertainment industry) for money, GET OUT NOW!  It’s a trap! The only sane reason to continue working in voice over or stage acting or screen acting or any of the myriad behind-the-scenes jobs HAS to be because you love it.  You CAN support yourself doing it, and many do, but the ODDS of being able to are pretty small.  Especially at first!

And the survival job?

Well, that just adds another layer of hardship on you!  It seems your choices are to live on the street and starve for a while, or struggle to juggle the schedule of a full-time job with auditioning and then sometimes getting booked.  It just isn’t easy.  You must be TOUGH.  Now to be fair, simply being tough isn’t enough all by itself, but without that toughness you are doomed.

But…

Remember that it is said that it takes 10,000 hours to master something.  For you numbers geeks like me, that is 416 2/3 days.  Which is 1 year 51 2/3 days.  Of trying to master something, not consecutive (unless you work at it 24 hours a day 7 days a week).  That’s a long time.  And Thomas Edison tried 1000 different ways to make a light bulb before he found the right one.  It seems an important ingredient to success is being tough enough to not quit.

And that’s the rub

That is very likely the point of this week’s topic.  It doesn’t matter if you are not the best actor, best VO artist, best cinematographer or best…whatever…(there it is again!), what matters is that you are tough enough to face the hardships and not give up.  What matters is that you will juggle the schedule, take time to drive to or record that audition, accept the small roles and take the time off work to do them (and do them to the best of your abilities). To persevere in the face of hardship because to quit means you already failed.

No guarantee

The really funny quirky thing is: Being tough doesn’t guarantee success, but not being tough virtually guarantees failure! I’m sure there are one-offs to that idea, people who hit it big on their first outing, but generally I believe that’s true.  And being fastest, or strongest without the toughness can’t really get you over the line.

So…

When you send a perfect audition and don’t get selected? Be tough and send the next one.  If you are going through a dry patch booking jobs. Be tough and keep auditioning.  Because you know, you won’t always be the strongest or the fastest, but you can be the toughest. And that gives you a much better chance to succeed!

If you enjoyed this, please leave a comment below to let me know.  If you DIDN’T enjoy it, well, I’d like to hear from you too!  And please feel free to share this blog on social media or with other people you think might enjoy it.

If you haven’t already, please feel free to subscribe so you don’t miss anything!

 

Be kind. Everyone has a hard fight ahead of them

Acting, Encouragement, General, Voice Over, Wisdom

Continuing the series

With this week’s topic “Be kind. Everyone has a hard fight ahead of them”.

Yep, I took a week off

And I bet you didn’t even notice!  OK, maybe you did…at any rate, sorry if you missed me.  Last week I was on the set of Regaining Innocence, so early call times and long days.  OK, maybe not a week OFF exactly, but a week off writing the blog. Well worth it though, and I will write more about it in a couple months when it is close to being released.  If you follow the link above, you’ll see some behind the scenes pics of a fantastic cast & crew at work.

Who said this?

As I’ve mentioned, the topics in this series come from a list of “advice” I saw on Facebook, and we are coming up on the end of the list (so now I’ll have to find my own topics).  Anyway, this saying is often attributed to Plato or some other ancient philosopher, but it is MUCH more recent than that.  This one actually traces back to a Scottish Author writing under the name of Ian McLaren in the late 1800’s.

It’s no wonder

It’s no wonder this often gets attributed so far back, as the message it sends it timeless.  It is certainly as pertinent today as it was in the 19th century and would have been all the way back to the beginning of recorded time.  Life is not easy, and everyone is struggling with SOMETHING.

It’s also HARD

Being kind, especially in the face of some adversity or confrontation (which is kind of alluded to in the quote), is pretty difficult. People can be judgmental and cruel, and our natural inclination is to respond in kind (well, mine is anyway).  What this quote reminds us of is that each of us is struggling to move forward in life. We have no idea why a person may be angry or unkind.  It’s our response to that behavior that’s being addressed here.

We all struggle

It’s part of the human condition to have struggles at times.  We lose loved ones to illness and death, we lose our pets, our lover decides to leave us, our jobs are stressful, our cars break down…there is an endless list of things we deal with from day to day.  Everyone.

You never know

Most people don’t wear their troubles on their sleeves, so you just have no idea (usually) what trouble may be causing them to act in an unkind way.  To respond unkindly only serves to make their problems that much worse.  For all you know that short tempered “Karen” (sorry to all the people named Karen out there…I didn’t come up with the meme, but it works as an illustration) who is demanding to speak to the manager may have just gotten some really terrible news. Give her a break!

Empathy and Curiosity are the key

When confronted with a rude or angry person, taking a minute to try and put yourself in their shoes will go a long way to helping you respond kindly.  Ask yourself a couple questions to see if you can understand:

  •          Why are they acting like this?
  •          Is this a normal way for this person to act?
  •          Can there be some explanation for this behavior?
  •          What is the actual message here (beyond the words they are using)?

These are just examples, but you get the idea.  Try and put yourself in their position and understand WHY they are acting the way they are.

And then…

Remember times in your life when you were short, grumpy, or angry with people because of some event unrelated to them.  If they respond to you angrily, how did it make you feel, better or worse?  How did a kind response make you feel?  I venture to say the angry response elevated your anger, and the kind response made you feel a little better.  How would you want someone to respond?  Act that way!

The entertainment industry

And by “entertainment industry” I mean everything from voice artists, to actors, to producers, directors, cinematographers, grips and on down the line.  Why is it important to be kind?  I may have mentioned once or twice that this industry is built on relationships.  Being the person who always responds unkindly is not going to ingratiate you to the people you are working with, and it is LIKELY to ensure you don’t get as much work as you’d like.

No, there is no ACTUAL blacklist

Well, there is an actual show called that, but I digress.  I mean, there is not a list that gets shared around the industry of people to not work with (well, not since McCarthy in the 50’s anyway).  But for negativity, there is a pretty long memory.  Most of us can name a few celebrities who have a bad reputation, and casting professionals and production teams all read the news as well.  You don’t want to be that person.

An example from one of my productions

I was on set as a background actor.  As we were getting set for the scene, I was stationed in a hallway behind one of the principal actors (a “named” actor), when he turned to me and rudely said “Back up!  No, around the corner, I go on “action”.  I hadn’t said or done anything to this actor, I wasn’t invading his space or interfering with him in any way.  And of course, I was background so I was set to begin moving just BEFORE he was so in actuality, he should have been behind me.

How did I want to react?

I definitely had some colorful words I wanted to use.  Of course, using them would likely have gotten me removed from set, and thankfully there was a PA close by who got me and calmed me down before I said anything…but I really wanted to point out to this person that we were both working together, albeit in wildly different roles, to make the production the best it could be.

So, I asked myself

Why is this guy acting this way?  I decided it was one of two things:  Either he was just an arrogant, full of himself windbag who couldn’t stand being to close to “the help”, or he was a method actor who was trying to stay in character (his character was a bit of a butthead).  Either way, there was nothing I was going to do to change it or not make things worse.  I decided to believe he was just being in character and let it go.  I later found out from a fellow BG actor that he worked with him during a much happier scene and he was friendly and jovial…so I guess I was right.

But here’s the thing

As satisfying as it may have been to tell this guy off, it would have hurt me a lot more than him to make a scene (other than the scene we were TRYING to make).  I would have been asked to leave AND would have gotten the attention of the director and the rest of the crew…and not the kind of attention I wanted to have.

It makes YOU a better person!

The real damage to being unkind is to yourself.  Even when faced with someone who is being UNkind, responding kindly makes you a better person. It helps you to learn empathy and to recognize that people are not generally unkind, but are acting that way, usually, because of something going on in their life you may not be aware of.   And it doesn’t paint you as “THAT GUY” who is difficult to work with.

But it doesn’t mean…

Being kind doesn’t suggest that you condone bad behavior.  It doesn’t mean you overlook or are just OK with anything someone throws at you.  Being kind does not make you a doormat for people to just walk on.  It simply means when you DO take a stand and respond to negativity, you do it from a place of understanding and respond in a kind manner, even when disagreeing or chastising.  Sometimes you just don’t know what is going on with them or what terrible thing may have just happened that makes them act that way.

So…

Remember to always “Be Kind.  Everyone has a hard fight ahead of them” (even you!).

If you enjoyed this, please leave a comment below to let me know.  If you DIDN’T enjoy it, well, I’d like to hear from you too!  And please feel free to share this blog on social media or with other people you think might enjoy it.

If you haven’t already, please feel free to subscribe so you don’t miss anything!

Reputations are built over a lifetime

Acting, Encouragement, Voice Over, Wisdom

WELCOME!

Several new subscribers have joined us again this week and I want to thank you for subscribing and welcome you!  Thanks for joining!

Continuing the series

With this week’s topic “Reputations are built over a lifetime”.

Will Rogers

Nearly everyone has heard of Will Rogers.  He was an entertainer in the early 20th century.  He was probably best known at the time as a humorous social commentator and what he has to say about reputations is this: “It takes a lifetime to build a good reputation, but you can lose it in a minute”.  It’s not humorous, but it is Oh, so true.

What is a reputation?

We all know what a reputation is, right?  Well, for those who may be wondering if their understanding is right, a quick check with Dictionary.com tells me that reputation is defined as:

  • The estimation in which a person or thing is held, especially by the community or the public generally; repute: a man of good reputation.
  • Favorable repute; good name: to ruin one’s reputation by misconduct.
  • A favorable and publicly recognized name or standing for merit, achievement, reliability, etc.: to build up a reputation.
  • The estimation or name of being, having, having done, etc., something specified: He has the reputation of being a shrewd businessman.

Everyone has one

Whether you like it or not, you HAVE a reputation.  Maybe you know what it is, or maybe you don’t…but since your reputation is about how other people view you, or their opinion about you, unless people are telling you there is a fair chance you don’t know what your reputation is.  It may or may NOT be how you see yourself, and some of us may be surprised by other people’s opinions of us.

Good, or bad?

Of course, everyone would like to have a good reputation, but reputations can be good OR bad.  There is an idiom that began in the mid 1900’s and is widely used today: Your reputation precedes you.  Simply stated it means that someone has already heard about you from others, so they have set expectations based on what they’ve heard.  Today, it is used lightheartedly, but it can mean they’ve heard either good things about you or bad.

Not always accurate

Sometimes your reputation is based on facts, on things you have done in the past that are notable and remembered by people.  These things are typically behaviors that somehow set you apart and are memorable.  But here’s the issue:  Sometimes your reputation is based on exaggerations or rumors (generally negative impressions).

Overcoming or living up to it

A bad reputation is difficult to overcome…and it seems a bad reputation also travels faster than the speed of light.  It takes time and a lot of work to overcome a bad reputation, since people will have a negative view of you before they even meet you.  An exaggerated GOOD reputation on the other hand, is difficult to live up to.  Either way, you’ll want your reputation to be (not only good but) fair and accurate.  Your reputation should reflect who you really are.

You can manage your reputation

Companies do it all the time.  As a matter of fact, there is an entire industry around reputation management.  So, you can pay someone a bunch of money to help you build a solid reputation, or you can do it yourself based on how you act and how you present yourself to the world.  Either way, it takes TIME to establish a reputation and work to maintain it.

It takes a lifetime

Perhaps I think about things differently than most, but the idea that it “takes a lifetime” to build a reputation, while technically true, is a bit misleading.  What if you are 15 years old?  Can you have a reputation?  Of course!  So, it takes whatever lifetime you have lived, up to today, to build that reputation!  Your reputation is built one moment, one action, at a time for however long you’ve been alive so far. Because of this, you CAN, over time, reverse a bad reputation and turn it into a good one.

The entertainment industry

I’ve said it before, many times, but as an actor, VO artist or comedian, relationships can make all the difference in your career.  Honestly, my experience is that relationship trumps talent (but only slightly).  It’s true on almost any industry, who you know is more important than what you know, but it seems in this industry that’s true on steroids.  Knowing the right people opens doors that might not otherwise be opened for you.  You’ve got to back that up with talent, to be sure, but the opportunities are behind doors that have gatekeepers.

Why would someone want to know you?

You can probably come up with a list of industry professionals you’d like to know pretty easily.  People who might be able to help move your career along a little faster than it might be now.   But ask yourself why those people might want to know YOU?  Do you have a good reputation in the industry?  Are you the person who is always on time, always willing to work harder or later without complaining?  Are you the person always looking for how someone else can help you, and not focused on how you can help them?  You may be unwittingly creating a bad reputation for yourself.

Be intentional

If you are focused on building and maintaining a good reputation, you must be intentional.  Make sure your words and actions are such that people are eager to know and work with you.  A carpenter would say “measure twice, cut once” and I submit that as a VO artist or actor it is incumbent on you to “think twice, act once”.

A word about social media

Today, social media is a tool we can use to connect and build relationships with people we wouldn’t have had the chance to connect with several decades ago.  It’s a great tool, but you must wield it carefully.  The problem with social media is it has permanence.  It’s common practice to google people you are about to meet to see what kind of person they are…and social media is one place to look.  It’s not hard to find someone notable whose career has been ruined by a decades old social media post!  Your social media presence is building a reputation for you whether you want it to or not.

Never say anything you wouldn’t say to your grandmother

It’s a good rule of thumb to just never post anything you wouldn’t want you grandmother (or parents, or boss, or SO) to see.  We used to say in the Navy: “Be careful what you say today, because tomorrow it’ll be REF A (REF A would be the reference for some correspondence).  In other words, it seems the dumb things you say tend to get remembered longer than the not dumb things.

One Aww, sh*t

When it comes to your reputation, you need to be ever vigilant.  Another fun navy saying was: “One Aww-sh*t wipes out a thousand atta-boys”.  You can spend years establishing and maintaining a good reputation, only to have one mistake completely demolish it.  It doesn’t even have to be something current; it can be something you said or did years ago that comes to light…and it doesn’t have to be on the grand scale of the things Bill Cosby did. Be ever mindful, and intentional, with your reputation.

Here is how to build a good reputation

The biggest thing you can do in this industry to build a good reputation is this:  Instead of always trying to figure out how other people can help you, find the ways that you can help them.  Always be on time, and prepared.  Don’t argue with the producers or directors.  It’s OK, to have an artistic opinion, and voice it, but if it gets shot down, don’t argue.  Be the person who is easy to work with, professional and not contradictory.  If you have even a shred of talent, people will want to hire you because your focus is on THEM and how you are helping them achieve their goals with a project.

And remember

Reputations are built over a lifetime.  But they are also ruined in the blink of an eye. Your reputation precedes you, so keep an eye on yours and you’ll work a lot more often!

P.S. If you are looking for your next great Non-Fiction read, head on over to “March Into Knowledge” and check out some great free content!

If you enjoyed this, please leave a comment below to let me know.  If you DIDN’T enjoy it, well, I’d like to hear from you too!  And please feel free to share this blog on social media or with other people you think might enjoy it.

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Be cool to younger kids.

Acting, Encouragement, Voice Over, Wisdom

WELCOME!

Several new subscribers have joined us again this week and I want to thank you for subscribing and welcome you!  Thanks for joining!

Continuing the series

With this week’s topic “Be cool to younger kids”.

Everyone was the “younger kid” at one point.

No one was born an adult.  At one point in your life, you were that goofy young kid who couldn’t WAIT to grow up. Of course, what you didn’t know was: it’s a trap!…adulthood is a LOT more stressful than being a kid…but I digress.

Did you?

Many, if not most (if not ALL), of us had someone growing up who we looked up to and who was “cool” with us.  Someone who didn’t treat us like a snot nosed kid who was just a pain to be around.  For me, that was my Uncle Jim (no, not a crazy uncle, although I had at least one of those too).

More like a big brother

Uncle Jim was my mom’s youngest brother, and he was just 10 years older than me.  For a period in my childhood my grandmother and Uncle Jim lived with us.  My grandfather had passed away and she was struggling to make ends meet.  It was the 1960’s after all and women were not heavily in the work force, my grandmother, in her 60’s, had a rough time finding employment late in life.  Consequently, they moved in with us.

I idolized him

Uncle Jim was a teenager when they lived with us, and I was just a kid (6 or 7 years old) so you’d think he would have been all “Go away, kid, ya bother me”…but he wasn’t.  He took me under his wing.  I remember him teaching me to throw a football and ice skate and catch a baseball.  Believe it or not he would take me with him on dates to the beach and sometimes just he and I would go to the local amusement park Geauga Lake.

Me and Uncle Jim at Geauga Lake. Yeah, this was more than a couple weeks ago.

And I was no prize as a kid

It’s not like I was the best kid to have around.  I remember always wanting to wear his clothes (which aggravated him I suppose) and when he shipped a box back home from the army when he was getting out (he was drafted during Viet Nam) I tore it open and “stole” the clothes. I wore them every day for the 3 months till he got back, ruining several pairs of pants.  Then I learned once that you could stick a pin through a box and play an album (way back when vinyl was a thing) by resting the pin in the groove and turning on the turn table. Of course, that only worked once as the pin carved vinyl out of the groove.  I ruined more than one album that way.

He was a mentor

He’d get angry with me, for sure, but never in a mean or demeaning way.  Instead, he mentored me, and took the time to explain why whatever I did was wrong and how to act.  He was my mentor growing up.  He was “cool” to me.  He treated me like a human and helped me to grow and mature.

Even as an adult

He was ALWAYS cool with me, even as an adult.  Of course, we developed a much different relationship as I got older, a more mature adult relationship.  But he never stopped mentoring me or being a “big brother” to me.

He’s gone now

Sadly, Uncle Jim passed away from pancreatic cancer, likely due to exposure to Agent Orange during his time in the army, more than 20 years ago.  He was just 50 years old.  But he is still there for me.  To this day, at the ripe old age of 61 years, I look up to him and think about some of the lessons he taught me.  It’s safe to say that, even though he is gone, he still influences my life.

Even as he was dying

My last memory of Uncle Jim was on a trip to Myrtle Beach, his favorite vacation spot.  He was pretty far along in the disease and had a hard time getting around and doing things.  Cancer is a HORRIBLE disease, and it took so MUCH from him. As I and my family (by this time I was married with 4 kids) were getting ready to leave I hugged him, told him I loved him and asked if he was alright.  He hugged me back, looked me in the eye and said, “Are YOU alright?  It’s OK, everything is going to be OK”.  He was always looking out for me. Excuse me, I seem to have something in my eyes…BRB.

Uncle Jim’s reputation

Here’s the thing.  It wasn’t just me.  Ask anyone who knew Uncle Jim and they’ll tell you he influenced them as well.  Both of my younger sisters feel the same way about him.  He has a reputation as a kind, loving, patient man.  He built that reputation over a lifetime of being…well, kind loving and patient.  His actual kids may feel differently, but frankly I doubt it.

The entertainment industry

The thing about this industry is that everyone, every actor, voice actor, stand up comic…EVERYONE starts out just like everyone else.  At the beginning.  Robert Di Niro didn’t BEGIN his career as an award-winning performer.  No one does.  Each and every one of us in this industry started out as a “younger kid” on set.  No matter where you are in your journey, there are those people who have a lot less, and a lot more, experience than you.

Add to that

The notion that the industry is, as I have said before (more than once…here and here for example), built on relationships and you can probably guess where this is going.  More experienced actors should be cool to those with less experience, not look down on them as a nuisance.

A story from my experience

Many of you know that I am a relatively new performer.  I began my VO career at the beginning of the pandemic in 2020, and my screen acting career early in 2021 (January 2nd, 2021, to be exact).  My first gig was as a background actor on a limited television series, which BTW was very exciting for me.  At one point I was on set with a “name” actor.  Not a BIG name, but someone you are likely to recognize depending on what you watch on TV.  I was behind him at position 1, standing in a set that was a hallway in an office building.

Apparently, I was too close

I was standing about 3 feet behind this named actor waiting for the scene to begin when he turned and said sharply: “Back up”.  I backed up a couple feet.  “No, go around the corner!  I go on action”.  In other words, don’t come back around that corner till after I leave.  I was background.  The order goes something like this: Quiet on set, Roll sound, Roll cameras, Background…and…action.  If you can’t tell, background moves BEFORE the principal actors start.  I should have “gone” before him.  He was just being rude.  I honestly hope I never see that guy on set again, because I will forever have a negative opinion of him.  No, I won’t tell you who it was.

Later

In a different scene, I got bumped to “featured” background where I was essentially set dressing for the principals who were acting in the scene.  There were 4 other “named” actors in the scene, and each of them introduced themselves to me and welcomed me to set.  One, another guy whose name you’d recognize, then made it a point to say hello and chat with me for a moment whenever we passed one another.  They made me feel welcome and part of the project, even though I was just a body taking up space for the sake of the scene.  It’s noteworthy that the first guy I mentioned was ALSO part of that scene and refused to speak with me.

It’s a small thing

It seems so small and inconsequential, but I’m sure it will stick with me for a long time.  One day I may work with that one guy again, and it’s gonna start off awkward for me.  He basically said, “Go away kid, ya bother me”.   I hope to work with the others some day! On the plus side it made me realize I never want to be “that” guy.

Go away kid, ya bother me!

Remember where you began

When you are a famous actor and on set, try to remember where YOU started and instead of looking down on new actors, help to build them up.  Be cool to younger kids.

P.S. If you are looking for your next great Non-Fiction read, head on over to “March Into Knowledge” and check out some great free content!

If you enjoyed this, please leave a comment below to let me know.  If you DIDN’T enjoy it, well, I’d like to hear from you too!  And please feel free to share this blog on social media or with other people you think might enjoy it.

If you haven’t already, please feel free to subscribe so you don’t miss anything!