Wisdom

Continuing the series

With this week’s topic “You won’t always be the strongest or the fastest. But you can be the toughest”.

Bear with me…

This week’s topic seems like a doozy to write about, and probably no less a doozy to read about.  But bear with me, it is pertinent to VO and acting, and we’ll get to that.

First

First things first.  If you’ve been reading the last 33 blog posts, you already know that I selected 38 topics (here’s the first one if you care) from a list of 100 wisest words.  There was no attribution, so I try to figure out who said it.  And this week I didn’t find ANYTHING, so my guess is it was coined by the anonymous teacher mentioned in the original Facebook post. But there is a close second, where most people think it came from (THINK).

Darwin

I love the Darwin awards, where people wind up dying because they did really stupid things.  It makes me feel a little less stupid, likely just because I haven’t died yet.  Evidence to that is the fact that I am writing this blog.  Anyway, many people think this phrase evolved (see what I did there?) from something Charles Darwin said which is often quoted as: “It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change.”.

Except

The problem is, Charles Darwin did not say it, this was adapted from a quote in a textbook written by Leon C. Megginson.  Yeah, I never heard of him either.  And it’s not exactly what he said, which was: “According to Darwin’s Origin of Species, it is not the most intellectual of the species that survives; it is not the strongest that survives; but the species that survives is the one that is able best to adapt and adjust to the changing environment in which it finds itself.”.

All that to say…

I can’t find an origin for the quote (other than the Facebook meme).  But I DID try!  And anyway, not being able to find the origin doesn’t make the idea of it any less true.

There is always someone…

Growing up my mom used to tell me all the time that no matter how big, fast, smart…whatever…I got, there was always going to be someone bigger, faster, smarter…whatever…than me.  From a philosophical standpoint, if I really think about it, I’d say that’s true from my perspective…but for SOMEONE out there it isn’t true.  There HAS to be a biggest, fastest, smartest…whateverist…person out there.  There I go digressing again.

The thing is…

While it is good advice and keeps people (me) from getting a “big head” about myself, the truth is this: It doesn’t matter.  Look around, the biggest, fastest, smartest…whateverist… (are you tired of that yet?  I kind of am) person is not always the one that is successful.  I’d venture to say if they are successful, these things are not why.  Surely, they help.  Maybe give some people an advantage.  But they are not the why.  I posit it is how tough they are.

Toughness

What does it mean for a person to be tough?  Well, Merriam-Webster defines it as: the quality or state of being tough.  Not helpful.  But they do list a bunch of “such as” examples.  I won’t paste them all here, even though it would help me reach my self-imposed 1500-word target for this blog, but here is the one I am thinking of: “physical or emotional strength that allows someone to endure strain or hardship”.  You can read the other ones at the link above.

It’s life

Honestly enduring strain or hardship is an inescapable facet of life for, well…everyone.  And if you think the rich and famous don’t have strain or hardship, then I am guessing you are not paying attention.  There are many examples of celebrities going through tough times, the most recent is probably the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard trial happening right now here in Fairfax Virginia.  EVERYONE struggles.

And some…

Some folks don’t weather the struggles very well. I think we all know people who have been crushed under the weight of hardship.  Some with good reason.  Even though we all struggle at times, some people wind up with more hardships than others.  Toughness, in my mind, is the ability to face hardship and not give up.  To keep charging forward.

This business

In a lot of ways, the entertainment business is a series of hardships back-to-back with an occasional “win” interspersed.  We audition, get called back and audition again…and then never hear anything.  Honestly, I find that if you are an analytical, numbers person you’ll discover quickly that the odds of booking a given job are very small.  And there is nearly always going to be a better actor or VO artist than you. Even if you ARE the best performer to audition, you may still not get the job!

It’s so random!

I’m finding there are so many aspects of a given role that are completely out of our control.  Maybe you are too tall, or too short, or too young, or too old, or your voice is too high or too low.  Maybe you have the wrong hair or eye color.  You could have the BEST performance, but if you just don’t fit the vision of the role they want…you won’t get it.  It can be very discouraging…especially if you are fond of eating or having a roof over your head. Not many actors these days don’t require a “survival job” to pursue their passion.

Easy to give up

It can be so discouraging, that many people give up their dream because of it.  The simple truth here is if you are doing this (whatever “this” is in the entertainment industry) for money, GET OUT NOW!  It’s a trap! The only sane reason to continue working in voice over or stage acting or screen acting or any of the myriad behind-the-scenes jobs HAS to be because you love it.  You CAN support yourself doing it, and many do, but the ODDS of being able to are pretty small.  Especially at first!

And the survival job?

Well, that just adds another layer of hardship on you!  It seems your choices are to live on the street and starve for a while, or struggle to juggle the schedule of a full-time job with auditioning and then sometimes getting booked.  It just isn’t easy.  You must be TOUGH.  Now to be fair, simply being tough isn’t enough all by itself, but without that toughness you are doomed.

But…

Remember that it is said that it takes 10,000 hours to master something.  For you numbers geeks like me, that is 416 2/3 days.  Which is 1 year 51 2/3 days.  Of trying to master something, not consecutive (unless you work at it 24 hours a day 7 days a week).  That’s a long time.  And Thomas Edison tried 1000 different ways to make a light bulb before he found the right one.  It seems an important ingredient to success is being tough enough to not quit.

And that’s the rub

That is very likely the point of this week’s topic.  It doesn’t matter if you are not the best actor, best VO artist, best cinematographer or best…whatever…(there it is again!), what matters is that you are tough enough to face the hardships and not give up.  What matters is that you will juggle the schedule, take time to drive to or record that audition, accept the small roles and take the time off work to do them (and do them to the best of your abilities). To persevere in the face of hardship because to quit means you already failed.

No guarantee

The really funny quirky thing is: Being tough doesn’t guarantee success, but not being tough virtually guarantees failure! I’m sure there are one-offs to that idea, people who hit it big on their first outing, but generally I believe that’s true.  And being fastest, or strongest without the toughness can’t really get you over the line.

So…

When you send a perfect audition and don’t get selected? Be tough and send the next one.  If you are going through a dry patch booking jobs. Be tough and keep auditioning.  Because you know, you won’t always be the strongest or the fastest, but you can be the toughest. And that gives you a much better chance to succeed!

If you enjoyed this, please leave a comment below to let me know.  If you DIDN’T enjoy it, well, I’d like to hear from you too!  And please feel free to share this blog on social media or with other people you think might enjoy it.

If you haven’t already, please feel free to subscribe so you don’t miss anything!

WELCOME!

Several new subscribers have joined us again this week and I want to thank you for subscribing and welcome you!  Thanks for joining!

Continuing the series

With this week’s topic “Reputations are built over a lifetime”.

Will Rogers

Nearly everyone has heard of Will Rogers.  He was an entertainer in the early 20^th century.  He was probably best known at the time as a humorous social commentator and what he has to say about reputations is this: “It takes a lifetime to build a good reputation, but you can lose it in a minute”.  It’s not humorous, but it is Oh, so true.

What is a reputation?

We all know what a reputation is, right?  Well, for those who may be wondering if their understanding is right, a quick check with Dictionary.com tells me that reputation is defined as:

• The estimation in which a person or thing is held, especially by the community or the public generally; repute: a man of good reputation.
• Favorable repute; good name: to ruin one’s reputation by misconduct.
• A favorable and publicly recognized name or standing for merit, achievement, reliability, etc.: to build up a reputation.
• The estimation or name of being, having, having done, etc., something specified: He has the reputation of being a shrewd businessman.

Everyone has one

Whether you like it or not, you HAVE a reputation.  Maybe you know what it is, or maybe you don’t…but since your reputation is about how other people view you, or their opinion about you, unless people are telling you there is a fair chance you don’t know what your reputation is.  It may or may NOT be how you see yourself, and some of us may be surprised by other people’s opinions of us.

Good, or bad?

Of course, everyone would like to have a good reputation, but reputations can be good OR bad.  There is an idiom that began in the mid 1900’s and is widely used today: Your reputation precedes you.  Simply stated it means that someone has already heard about you from others, so they have set expectations based on what they’ve heard.  Today, it is used lightheartedly, but it can mean they’ve heard either good things about you or bad.

Not always accurate

Sometimes your reputation is based on facts, on things you have done in the past that are notable and remembered by people.  These things are typically behaviors that somehow set you apart and are memorable.  But here’s the issue:  Sometimes your reputation is based on exaggerations or rumors (generally negative impressions).

Overcoming or living up to it

A bad reputation is difficult to overcome…and it seems a bad reputation also travels faster than the speed of light.  It takes time and a lot of work to overcome a bad reputation, since people will have a negative view of you before they even meet you.  An exaggerated GOOD reputation on the other hand, is difficult to live up to.  Either way, you’ll want your reputation to be (not only good but) fair and accurate.  Your reputation should reflect who you really are.

You can manage your reputation

Companies do it all the time.  As a matter of fact, there is an entire industry around reputation management.  So, you can pay someone a bunch of money to help you build a solid reputation, or you can do it yourself based on how you act and how you present yourself to the world.  Either way, it takes TIME to establish a reputation and work to maintain it.

It takes a lifetime

Perhaps I think about things differently than most, but the idea that it “takes a lifetime” to build a reputation, while technically true, is a bit misleading.  What if you are 15 years old?  Can you have a reputation?  Of course!  So, it takes whatever lifetime you have lived, up to today, to build that reputation!  Your reputation is built one moment, one action, at a time for however long you’ve been alive so far. Because of this, you CAN, over time, reverse a bad reputation and turn it into a good one.

The entertainment industry

I’ve said it before, many times, but as an actor, VO artist or comedian, relationships can make all the difference in your career.  Honestly, my experience is that relationship trumps talent (but only slightly).  It’s true on almost any industry, who you know is more important than what you know, but it seems in this industry that’s true on steroids.  Knowing the right people opens doors that might not otherwise be opened for you.  You’ve got to back that up with talent, to be sure, but the opportunities are behind doors that have gatekeepers.

Why would someone want to know you?

You can probably come up with a list of industry professionals you’d like to know pretty easily.  People who might be able to help move your career along a little faster than it might be now.   But ask yourself why those people might want to know YOU?  Do you have a good reputation in the industry?  Are you the person who is always on time, always willing to work harder or later without complaining?  Are you the person always looking for how someone else can help you, and not focused on how you can help them?  You may be unwittingly creating a bad reputation for yourself.

Be intentional

If you are focused on building and maintaining a good reputation, you must be intentional.  Make sure your words and actions are such that people are eager to know and work with you.  A carpenter would say “measure twice, cut once” and I submit that as a VO artist or actor it is incumbent on you to “think twice, act once”.

A word about social media

Today, social media is a tool we can use to connect and build relationships with people we wouldn’t have had the chance to connect with several decades ago.  It’s a great tool, but you must wield it carefully.  The problem with social media is it has permanence.  It’s common practice to google people you are about to meet to see what kind of person they are…and social media is one place to look.  It’s not hard to find someone notable whose career has been ruined by a decades old social media post!  Your social media presence is building a reputation for you whether you want it to or not.

Never say anything you wouldn’t say to your grandmother

It’s a good rule of thumb to just never post anything you wouldn’t want you grandmother (or parents, or boss, or SO) to see.  We used to say in the Navy: “Be careful what you say today, because tomorrow it’ll be REF A (REF A would be the reference for some correspondence).  In other words, it seems the dumb things you say tend to get remembered longer than the not dumb things.

One Aww, sh*t

When it comes to your reputation, you need to be ever vigilant.  Another fun navy saying was: “One Aww-sh*t wipes out a thousand atta-boys”.  You can spend years establishing and maintaining a good reputation, only to have one mistake completely demolish it.  It doesn’t even have to be something current; it can be something you said or did years ago that comes to light…and it doesn’t have to be on the grand scale of the things Bill Cosby did. Be ever mindful, and intentional, with your reputation.

Here is how to build a good reputation

The biggest thing you can do in this industry to build a good reputation is this:  Instead of always trying to figure out how other people can help you, find the ways that you can help them.  Always be on time, and prepared.  Don’t argue with the producers or directors.  It’s OK, to have an artistic opinion, and voice it, but if it gets shot down, don’t argue.  Be the person who is easy to work with, professional and not contradictory.  If you have even a shred of talent, people will want to hire you because your focus is on THEM and how you are helping them achieve their goals with a project.

And remember

Reputations are built over a lifetime.  But they are also ruined in the blink of an eye. Your reputation precedes you, so keep an eye on yours and you’ll work a lot more often!

P.S. If you are looking for your next great Non-Fiction read, head on over to “March Into Knowledge” and check out some great free content!

If you enjoyed this, please leave a comment below to let me know.  If you DIDN’T enjoy it, well, I’d like to hear from you too!  And please feel free to share this blog on social media or with other people you think might enjoy it.

If you haven’t already, please feel free to subscribe so you don’t miss anything!

WELCOME!

Several new subscribers have joined us again this week and I want to thank you for subscribing and welcome you!  Thanks for joining!

Continuing the series

With this week’s topic “Be cool to younger kids”.

Everyone was the “younger kid” at one point.

No one was born an adult.  At one point in your life, you were that goofy young kid who couldn’t WAIT to grow up. Of course, what you didn’t know was: it’s a trap!…adulthood is a LOT more stressful than being a kid…but I digress.

Did you?

Many, if not most (if not ALL), of us had someone growing up who we looked up to and who was “cool” with us.  Someone who didn’t treat us like a snot nosed kid who was just a pain to be around.  For me, that was my Uncle Jim (no, not a crazy uncle, although I had at least one of those too).

More like a big brother

Uncle Jim was my mom’s youngest brother, and he was just 10 years older than me.  For a period in my childhood my grandmother and Uncle Jim lived with us.  My grandfather had passed away and she was struggling to make ends meet.  It was the 1960’s after all and women were not heavily in the work force, my grandmother, in her 60’s, had a rough time finding employment late in life.  Consequently, they moved in with us.

I idolized him

Uncle Jim was a teenager when they lived with us, and I was just a kid (6 or 7 years old) so you’d think he would have been all “Go away, kid, ya bother me”…but he wasn’t.  He took me under his wing.  I remember him teaching me to throw a football and ice skate and catch a baseball.  Believe it or not he would take me with him on dates to the beach and sometimes just he and I would go to the local amusement park Geauga Lake.

And I was no prize as a kid

It’s not like I was the best kid to have around.  I remember always wanting to wear his clothes (which aggravated him I suppose) and when he shipped a box back home from the army when he was getting out (he was drafted during Viet Nam) I tore it open and “stole” the clothes. I wore them every day for the 3 months till he got back, ruining several pairs of pants.  Then I learned once that you could stick a pin through a box and play an album (way back when vinyl was a thing) by resting the pin in the groove and turning on the turn table. Of course, that only worked once as the pin carved vinyl out of the groove.  I ruined more than one album that way.

He was a mentor

He’d get angry with me, for sure, but never in a mean or demeaning way.  Instead, he mentored me, and took the time to explain why whatever I did was wrong and how to act.  He was my mentor growing up.  He was “cool” to me.  He treated me like a human and helped me to grow and mature.

Even as an adult

He was ALWAYS cool with me, even as an adult.  Of course, we developed a much different relationship as I got older, a more mature adult relationship.  But he never stopped mentoring me or being a “big brother” to me.

He’s gone now

Sadly, Uncle Jim passed away from pancreatic cancer, likely due to exposure to Agent Orange during his time in the army, more than 20 years ago.  He was just 50 years old.  But he is still there for me.  To this day, at the ripe old age of 61 years, I look up to him and think about some of the lessons he taught me.  It’s safe to say that, even though he is gone, he still influences my life.

Even as he was dying

My last memory of Uncle Jim was on a trip to Myrtle Beach, his favorite vacation spot.  He was pretty far along in the disease and had a hard time getting around and doing things.  Cancer is a HORRIBLE disease, and it took so MUCH from him. As I and my family (by this time I was married with 4 kids) were getting ready to leave I hugged him, told him I loved him and asked if he was alright.  He hugged me back, looked me in the eye and said, “Are YOU alright?  It’s OK, everything is going to be OK”.  He was always looking out for me. Excuse me, I seem to have something in my eyes…BRB.

Uncle Jim’s reputation

Here’s the thing.  It wasn’t just me.  Ask anyone who knew Uncle Jim and they’ll tell you he influenced them as well.  Both of my younger sisters feel the same way about him.  He has a reputation as a kind, loving, patient man.  He built that reputation over a lifetime of being…well, kind loving and patient.  His actual kids may feel differently, but frankly I doubt it.

The entertainment industry

The thing about this industry is that everyone, every actor, voice actor, stand up comic…EVERYONE starts out just like everyone else.  At the beginning.  Robert Di Niro didn’t BEGIN his career as an award-winning performer.  No one does.  Each and every one of us in this industry started out as a “younger kid” on set.  No matter where you are in your journey, there are those people who have a lot less, and a lot more, experience than you.

Add to that

The notion that the industry is, as I have said before (more than once…here and here for example), built on relationships and you can probably guess where this is going.  More experienced actors should be cool to those with less experience, not look down on them as a nuisance.

A story from my experience

Many of you know that I am a relatively new performer.  I began my VO career at the beginning of the pandemic in 2020, and my screen acting career early in 2021 (January 2^nd, 2021, to be exact).  My first gig was as a background actor on a limited television series, which BTW was very exciting for me.  At one point I was on set with a “name” actor.  Not a BIG name, but someone you are likely to recognize depending on what you watch on TV.  I was behind him at position 1, standing in a set that was a hallway in an office building.

Apparently, I was too close

I was standing about 3 feet behind this named actor waiting for the scene to begin when he turned and said sharply: “Back up”.  I backed up a couple feet.  “No, go around the corner!  I go on action”.  In other words, don’t come back around that corner till after I leave.  I was background.  The order goes something like this: Quiet on set, Roll sound, Roll cameras, Background…and…action.  If you can’t tell, background moves BEFORE the principal actors start.  I should have “gone” before him.  He was just being rude.  I honestly hope I never see that guy on set again, because I will forever have a negative opinion of him.  No, I won’t tell you who it was.

Later

In a different scene, I got bumped to “featured” background where I was essentially set dressing for the principals who were acting in the scene.  There were 4 other “named” actors in the scene, and each of them introduced themselves to me and welcomed me to set.  One, another guy whose name you’d recognize, then made it a point to say hello and chat with me for a moment whenever we passed one another.  They made me feel welcome and part of the project, even though I was just a body taking up space for the sake of the scene.  It’s noteworthy that the first guy I mentioned was ALSO part of that scene and refused to speak with me.

It’s a small thing

It seems so small and inconsequential, but I’m sure it will stick with me for a long time.  One day I may work with that one guy again, and it’s gonna start off awkward for me.  He basically said, “Go away kid, ya bother me”.   I hope to work with the others some day! On the plus side it made me realize I never want to be “that” guy.

Remember where you began

When you are a famous actor and on set, try to remember where YOU started and instead of looking down on new actors, help to build them up.  Be cool to younger kids.

P.S. If you are looking for your next great Non-Fiction read, head on over to “March Into Knowledge” and check out some great free content!

If you enjoyed this, please leave a comment below to let me know.  If you DIDN’T enjoy it, well, I’d like to hear from you too!  And please feel free to share this blog on social media or with other people you think might enjoy it.

If you haven’t already, please feel free to subscribe so you don’t miss anything!